Chloe’s 1st Blog Just Warms My Heart…

It’s at this point in my life where I get to see things clearly. It is 2018 and its been 3 years since my sister has received her angel wings. Everyday I thank God more and more for the life he has given me, but then I question myself to why God didn’t give my sister a longer life. Day by day I receive love and life lessons from people in my family but the best lessons I learned were from my sister. Myesha always taught me to be myself and to never let anyone bring me down. If you guys all knew Myesha she was outgoing, wild and very spiritual, if there wasn’t something you could do she would do it for you. Myesha was always there to help someone when it came to me and my brothers and even when it came to her close friend Whitley. As Myesha left for heaven I realized I was loosing a part of my heart…..and it hurt. I was lost….confused….and even scared. I didn’t think I was ever going to pick myself up again. That summer of 2015 as I sat in the hospital with my sister I realized I was going to have to let my sister go…….which I shouldn’t of had to do but I did. The memories I hold there were hard to contain as I laid next to her and spoke to her it made it harder to know she was never going to speak back to me…..or tell me she loved me and that everything was going to be okay. The hospital left me with scars that I had to cover up and all I remember is the final breaths my sister took before falling to my knees. The devastation of leaving my sister at the hospital is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face even at such a young age. Even though its been 3 years I still cry all the time as if it just happened again…..and that hurts even worse. As I’ve progressed in school and in life I’ve met new people and made closer bonds with my sisters friend Whitley. My new friends have made me more happier than I have ever been and it has made me a better person. Whitley the most amazing person you could meet, came into my life more and changed me too, she has made me see the bigger and brighter things to come. Whitley and I have hung out more and more to where she has became more like my new older sister for me. I couldn’t thank her enough for her staying with me through thick and thin. The next person I couldn’t think enough is my mother, she has been there for me even when I never really needed her she was still there. My mom and I share the heart ache of Myesha passing away in the hospital. Loosing Myesha the way we saw it was traumatizing, the feeling of me and my mom walking away from her was hard. I held the feeling of never touching her hand on the hospital bed anymore, the feeling of knowing I had to go home and take a shower because she was sick. Those memories haunted me as I fell asleep that night. Knowing that it has been 3 years I can finally wake up and remember that everything is going to be okay. I know that nothing will ever be perfect again but I know that I will have some sort of peace that sits on my shoulders as I move along. So as I sit here on July 17, 2018 three years from you being gone I promise to never forget you Myesha and to love you forever and ever……..”It’s been a long day without you my friend, but I tell you all about it when I see you again!