Week 12

Forever In My Heart Friday! 12 weeks.  12 weeks and October is here.  October is here and my daughter is not.  I’m not going to lie that even after 12 weeks you would think things would get easier but they don’t. Our home is filled with constant reminders of her presence that is no longer.  I feel blessed to find these reminders and to look at her pictures daily but it doesn’t make it any easier.  You know as parents, we often go through periods of wanting to rush our children through certain different stages in life. We can’t wait for the terrible two’s to end. Then, we move on to the stage where everything is answered with a resounding “No!” From there, we struggle through the teen years, which for many of us, are turbulent times that we often wish we didn’t have to experience with our children. Finally, our children reach an adult level of maturity, and we can say the words, “My child is my most wonderful friend.” Not only has a child been taken out of the natural order of life and death, but often a best friend has been snatched away, too. There is a depth of loneliness following the death of a child that very few people will ever understand. As much as I fussed about giving up the car keys, putting up with messy rooms, and handing over money every day, I would give anything in the world to have the child back again. Everything that was a normal way of life has been greatly altered, and nothing seems familiar or comfortable any more. Child loss takes away so much! Your mind has such a hard time processing the brokenness of your heart! For those who know me, they know I have to write everything down to remember, lol.  We are a “Post It Note” family!  So it was not uncommon for my kids to snatch my Post It Note’s and leave me notes.  I still have a lot of them all over the house and I came upon this one stuck in the cabinet door in the kitchen yesterday.  I looked up and there it was!  I will forever miss her “silly” notes, that don’t seem silly at all now.  Thank you for all those “silly” notes Myesha!  Mommy loves you and misses you sooo very much!