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Myesha is always with us… Happy 20th Birthday in Heaven!!

After death communications are the little, and amazing, ways that our loved ones in Heaven let us know that their spirit is still around. Your deceased loved ones are usually very eager to let you know they are okay, and still a part of your life. Often when you hold a strong physical bond with someone it makes it easier to connect with them in spirit form. This is why so often, loved ones who have passed will try to make contact to deliver a message or to let you know that they are ok. They want you to know that there is an afterlife and that there is a new beginning for all of their souls. They want you to know that they will never leave you and that they will always be looking out for you in any way they can. I know there are some skeptics out there who want concrete proof of life after death. While no one can really give concrete proof, visions and images of spirit are pretty remarkable. Death only signifies the end of the physical body; the soul however, lives on and is forever eternal. In fact, our soul is indestructible. All we need to do to receive the signs is open our hearts. Of course, one of the most obvious ways for your loved one to make contact is to appear before you. This may be as an apparition, blurry outline, orbs, songs that come on at random times, or even as a figure of light.
This is exactly what was caught on video/camera on Myesha’s 19th birthday last year, just 6 weeks after her death. Today for the first time, in celebration of Myesha’s 20th birthday I am sharing some still frame videos and images that I have never shared with anyone until now.

Myesha tattoo

 

 

 

On Myesha’s 19th birthday I went and got my first tattoo. An angelic figure with her name scripted above. I was honored to have her cousin Tony do my tattoo being that he was the one who did her first tattoo as well. He did an amazing job creating this tattoo for me and I couldn’t be more pleased.

 

 

 

 

myesha angel image

myesha angel image

That night at her balloon release a video was taken. I shared that video with a few family members that couldn’t be in town for the event. Later that evening her cousin Dawn, of whom she was so close to, was watching the video and noticed something no one else had noticed. She played the video back and paused it, catching an amazing blurry outline of an angelic figure going up to the sky at the same time the balloons were released. The image was the same as the tattoo that was created for me. I was immediately filled with so much emotion that tears streamed down my face. Myesha was there! My baby was there with us

 

happy balloons

 

The next day my friend Kamy sends me a message with an enlarged image of the balloon release and she noticed that the balloons had created a “smiley” face in the sky during the balloon release. Another sign from my Angel baby letting us all know that she was there with us that night.

 

 

 

 

 

corban's picture of myesha catching her balloons from heaven

Then, just one week later, her brother Corban was in school and drew a picture of that evening’s event. He came home and immediately showed me the picture he drew, he was so proud. It was a picture of the balloon release that evening of her birthday. He proceeded to tell me that it was Jon’s house and how he drew all the balloons going into the sky. But then I noticed he had a red-shaped heart figure next to the balloons. So I asked him why he put a heart there. His response, “It’s Myesha. I saw her come down from the clouds that night to catch all of her balloons!” My heart sunk deep into my chest. I found myself trying to catch my breath. My son, Myesha’s little brother, in fact saw the same thing that my cousin Dawn caught on video. Neither of my children knew anything about the video, even to the day. I didn’t talk about it with them because at the time I was fearful they wouldn’t understand or become scared that Myesha’s presence was still so strong around us.

So today I am sharing all of this with you because while life in the physical does end for individuals, love and energy continues, so do not be surprised if your loved one in Heaven reaches out to let you know they are okay. If you’re feeling that a sign is from your loved one, it probably is. Just enjoy it and smile!
Happy 20th Birthday Myesha! Mommy loves you soo much!! We will be sending more balloons your way tonight for you to come and get!!

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Love Endures Death

The phrase “Tomorrow is not guaranteed” is often said for a reason. Losing a child is a trauma that is heartbreaking in a very literal sense. Until this is understood to be the most painful of all losses, there will never be a bridge of understanding needed to help parents cope. Grief takes a toll on you and the need for self-replenishing and self-redefining can be a conflicting struggle in every since. When the suffocating suffering passes you will find yourself left August 19, 2016with the pieces of the person you once were that has now been destroyed in order to feel something, or even possibly feel nothing. Redefining and recreating a purposeful, meaningful life, poses enormous physical, social, psychological, and spiritual challenges. The work of grief involves learning to live with and adjust to the loss. Dealing with pain is pertinent. It all starts with the sick reality that death must be acknowledged; it cannot be fought or denied. Our lives are not our own. Our child’s life was pre-determined long before we brought them into this world. But thankfully love endures death. There may be a sense that you are never finished with grief, but realistic goals of regaining an interest in life and feeling hopeful again is so important. You have to do whatever it takes to stay out of that dark hole, which is so easy to get trapped in, and live your life as a celebration of their life, not as a slave to their memory. Mommy loves you Myesha!! FIM <3 F

 

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Make Them Proud…

Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is to be completely alone with our thoughts. I have always been one who has kept myself busy so that I didn’t have to do just that…think. I only took a week off after Myesha passed away, for two reasons. 1.) I was in the middle of a nasty divorce and with recent changes in income I was not in any position to be able to afford the time off. 2.) I think somehow I just thought I could be strong enough to pick up and move on with the life God had chosen me for, as tragic as it may be. I had two other kids to live for and I couldn’t just give up. But I realize that with just such a short amount of time, I never really gave myself time to grieve. Time to allow all of my thoughts and raw emotions to come to surface so I could battle them, absorb them, try to make sense of all of it. Life isn’t fair, it’s really more of a coin toss and you never know what side you will get despite how hard you struggle to be on the right side of things. The grief of losing someone you love in your life consumes your mind and starts a rebellion inside you. It leaves you with fighting your own insecurities and cracks open your skull. You lose your mind thinking what could have been and what you could have done differently.
I speak to quite a few people now a day who also struggle with grief. I would never refer to myself and a professional, but my own journey through this process has definetly put me in the category of experienced. I recently had a conversation with a friend who had lost their mother, their best friend. As their 2 year marker was approaching they found themselves questioning what to do with their life now. What they needed to do in order to make their mom “proud”. It struck a chord with me. Isn’t that the question we all have? What do we do now? How do we continue on and try to find that happiness that we so desire in a walk of life that has suddenly stripped us of that hope of finding that place in our hearts again. That’s when I realized that when our loved ones pass, we do have an obligation to ourselves to find a way to continue on in a life without them, as hard as it may be. At some point you just have to stop fighting that battle within and start forgiving yourself. In times like these, you need to accept that you are at war with yourself. You are not at war with someone else’s inflicted pain or someone else’s mistakes. You are battling a war with your current state. No matter what anyone says, they will not be able to get through to you. The pain and emptiness and the hopelessness will form a deadly alliance and continue to besiege you in the darkest hours of the night. However, wars are not won by the weak that aren’t prepared to accept the harsh realities of life. That’s why grief and acceptance of the life bestowed upon us is a constant battle.
But when you least expect it, the smoke will dissipate and the rays of the sun will shine through, in place that was once so dark. What time does give you is more perspective, more time to dissolve the physical hurt that burns inside the depths of your soul. It gives you the options of when it’s okay to feel that grief and when you need to compartmentalize it so that you can continue on each and every day. To make the person you lost, well, “proud” of you. To try and figure out a constructive way to tuck that grief away for a while and deal with the present. That is often where you will find the gratitude and sweetness in remembering how blessed you were to have them in your life. That’s when you will find those few moments of happiness and “make them proud”. Mommy Loves you Myesha. FIM<3F