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FIMHF Blogs

Week 7 (part 1)

Forever In My Heart Friday! It’s been 6 weeks now since my daughter Myesha was granted her angel wings and taken into Heaven!? Myesha always wanted us to get mother and daughter tattoos. But, I do not have a single tattoo, even now at the age of 40, and I was petrified. So on her 18th birthday she went alone and got her first tattoo without me. ? I told her that when she decided to do this that it should mean something to her, and not just some silly tattoo that she thought would be “cool”. On Fathers Day just a few months prior, she was very upset because she missed her dad so much because he had passed away 2 years ago from a massive heart attack right after her 16th birthday. So on Father’s Day last year she had made a post on Facebook asking anybody who had any videos of her dad if they would share them with her because she just missed the sound of his voice. My heart broke for her and I begin scrambling through the house to find all of the home videos I took of her when she was little. Thank goodness I was able to find one from when she was 3 years old and we were at my mothers house on Christmas morning and he was opening gifts with her and he laid on the floor and told her that he loved her and she said she loved him back. That video right there meant so much to her just to be able to hear his voice and hear him tell her that he loves her. I then also found cards that he used to send to me and I had forgot that one time he had always called me “prettier than me”. It was at that point she decided that she wanted her first tattoo to be “prettier than me two” since she was his only daughter. So our cousin Tony put together this amazing tattoo that she had done on her right shoulder blade. I was very proud of her for making a good choice in her first tattoo. So tomorrow I am going back to our cousin Tony’s to get my first tattoo from him as well in memory of her. I will be getting an angel on my wrist with her name beside it. I am still petrified, but I know that she will be with me in spirit and help me make it through the pain lol! So this tattoo is for you baby girl. Mommy loves you! FIM <3 F!

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FIMHF Blogs

Week 6

Forever In My Heart Friday! Myesha loved her brothers and sister so much! As much as she used to kid about wanting to be an only child I know she would never change it for the world! She was her siblings biggest protector and was truly their best friend! As I was driving Corban Wiley to school this morning he told me he wished that there was a magic button that could bring people back to life where he could just write somebody’s name and they would come back! I asked him who he would want to bring back and of course he said “Myesha”. He told me that he drew a picture of his sister in his notebook at school and wanted to show me when we got there this morning. I got out a picture that I’ve been keeping in the car of her and I gave it to him and ask him if he would like to keep it with him at school so that he could look at her whenever he wanted to. He was very excited and held on to that picture all the way to school. We got to his school, he showed me his notebook and it had a beautiful picture of a sun and a rainbow that he drew with the sun rays coming off of the sun because he sees his sister in the rays of the sun when they shine through the clouds! We taped that picture of Myesha on that page that he drew so that way he can see her at school. I think all too often we take our siblings for granted that they will just always be there, but the reality is tomorrow is not promised. So this morning this goes out to everybody who has a sibling. I want to tell my sister Lacey Wakefield- Jackson how much I love her and even though we don’t get to see each other often, you’re always in my thoughts and I’m so glad you’re my sister! So today if you have a sibling take a few moments to send them a message and tell them how much they mean to you! FIM <3 F!

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FIMHF Blogs

Week 5

Forever In My Heart Friday, (FIM <3F). 4 weeks today and everything still seems so surreal. Not a single day goes by that I don't cry. But the days that I hear funny stories that her friends post, and the memories they share, is a wonderful reminder that she will not be forgotten. Today I'm sharing a video from when Myesha & Kaylee, her childhood BFF, were 6yrs old. 2001 Brittany Spears was all the rave and the girls could sing all the songs by heart. Myesha was always a performer. She loved to sing and dance! I would love to hear any stories you might have of Myesha singing, because I know there's a lot of them out there! Don't forget to tag her and I when you share them! FIM<3F ?????

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FIMHF Blogs

Week 4

Good morning! It’s Friday, which means it’s Forever In My Heart Friday (FIM<3F)!! I have so much of Myesha Reed's memories to share with all of you that it's bubbling over inside of me. So let me start off by thanking anyone who takes the time to read /watch/listen to my FIM<3F posts. You never realize how much JUST ONE person can affect your life SO MUCH!!! I would love to hear how Myesha affected yours too! Please feel free to post your own FIM<3F post and tag her name or mine. I would love to read them!! But even for those who may not have known my daughter personally, make sure you take the time today to reach out to at least one person and thank them for something special that they did for you in your life! Heck, they might not even realized it, and what a wonder feeling that would be on a Friday!! So my video today is of Myesha at the age of 2. The year is 1998. Titanic finally came out on video and boy did she love that movie. I'm sure as parents you all remember those shows/cartoons/sitcoms that your children went through that they couldn't get enough of. I bet we watched this movie every night for a month straight. It got to the point it just played like background noise in the house because she always wanted to watch it so she could THIS SONG!! Myesha LOVED LOVED LOVED to sing!! I always sang to her, she sang to me, and we sang together. I know the video is around 3 minutes but I promise it's got it's funny parts and the end has her wonderful Grand Finale!! Happy FIM<3F! Mommy loves you!

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FIMHF Blogs

Week 2

Forever In My Heart Friday (FIMHF), Today marks 2 weeks since my baby girl left us. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t cried. I read her FB posts, listen to her sing the songs she recorded, and even sing with her. I miss the sound of our voices singing together. So to keep her memory alive, every Friday I will find positive motivation that she shared on FB or just memories that we had with her so she can always continue to live on in our hearts. So this post was from last summer. I had hurt my hip and was unable to teach Zumba for 6 weeks. I was depressed and devistated. But Myesha was right there with her sister Chloe, finding new music, and thinking of new choreography for me to use when I was able to teach again. Even when I was ready to give up, they wouldn’t let me. So this is a song that Myesha shared to my wall that she wanted me to do when I got better. Enjoy our memories! FIMHF

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Eulogy

Just One Peek…

I never imagined it would be this hard to find the right words to say when planning a funeral. Maybe because I never planned on my children passing before me. But you see, we were never just the “normal, pick one” type of family. We loved to take a concept and made it our own. To be original. Therefore, I didn’t want to just “pick out” some generic poem, or quote from a funeral home book, for my daughter’s funeral resolution folder. So please enjoy what I managed to put together behind gasps of air and tear soaked eyes…..Just One Peek…

Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I’m asking for today.
I just want to know how she’s doing,
And heaven seems so far away.

Is she dancing on the clouds with angels?
Is she laughing and singing today?
Is that her blowing me kisses from heaven?
Upon my face, I wish they would stay.

She’s with her father Harley now,
Of whom she longed to see
His arms wrapped tight around her
Oh how I wish she were still with me

If you just let me look for a moment,
To catch a glimpse of her sweet smiling face,
I promise I won’t try to take her,
I know, she’s in a better place.

Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I’m asking for today.
I just want to know how she’s doing,
And heaven seems so far away…