Category: FIMHF Blogs

Forever In My Heart Friday! 12 weeks.  12 weeks and October is here.  October is here and my daughter is not.  I’m not going to lie that even after 12 weeks you would think things would get easier but they don’t. Our home is filled with constant reminders of her presence that is no longer.  I feel blessed to find these reminders and to look at her pictures daily but it doesn’t make it any easier.  You know as parents, we often go through periods of wanting to rush our children through certain different stages in life. We can’t wait for the terrible two’s to end. Then, we move on to the stage where everything is answered with a resounding “No!” From there, we struggle through the teen years, which for many of us, are turbulent times that we often wish we didn’t have to experience with our children. Finally, our children reach an adult level of maturity, and we can say the words, “My child is my most wonderful friend.” Not only has a child been taken out of the natural order of life and death, but often a best friend has been snatched away, too. There is a depth of loneliness following the death of a child that very few people will ever understand. As much as I fussed about giving up the car keys, putting up with messy rooms, and handing over money every day, I would give anything in the world to have the child back again. Everything that was a normal way of life has been greatly altered, and nothing seems familiar or comfortable any more. Child loss takes away so much! Your mind has such a hard time processing the brokenness of your heart! For those who know me, they know I have to write everything down to remember, lol.  We are a “Post It Note” family!  So it was not uncommon for my kids to snatch my Post It Note’s and leave me notes.  I still have a lot of them all over the house and I came upon this one stuck in the cabinet door in the kitchen yesterday.  I looked up and there it was!  I will forever miss her “silly” notes, that don’t seem silly at all now.  Thank you for all those “silly” notes Myesha!  Mommy loves you and misses you sooo very much!
 

Forever in My Heart Friday. Godparent’s are beyond special. They are not just special on the day your child is born, or on their baptismal, but special for a child’s life, even when they are grown-up themselves. It’s a life-long commitment to share not only the special occasions with, but to guide your children on how to make good choices in life, for themselves, and for others. This might mean talking to them about how to stay healthy, how to resist temptations that can harm them and other people, and how to handle peer pressure as they grow older, but how to succeed in school and in life. A Godparent is an extra person in your child’s life to love, dote on, be proud of, and generally support them in everything he/she does. Back in 1996 I’m sure that Sharon Coupland and Tammy Dressel never imagined that I would say “Yes” when they ask to be Myesha’s Godmothers. But how could I say “No”. They were the most amazing 2 people in my life and I never had any doubts in my decision. As Myesha Reed grew into her toddler years Sharon’s love for Myesha was overflowing. She would get no less than 3 pairs of Nike’s for her birthday, Christmas, etc. Sharon was bound and determined for Myesha to love shoes as much as she did!! Well it worked. She did!! More shoes than me that girl had!! Sharon loved to spend time with Myesha, and to some, she may not have been that “Fairy Godmother” type. But she was PERFECT for us!! Her personality, charm, and charisma was abundant and she passed all of her “wisdom” to Myesha at a very early age. Including playing “dirty” to get what she wanted….bahaaaaa!! As Myesha got older, she got a God-Sister, Aaliyah Gomillion, to also bond with. Later came her other Godmother Bobbi Jo Dixon. What a blessing this power couple was for all 3 of my children. When Corban was born I gave Sharon the honor of picking/spelling Corban’s middle name, Jaxon, as a way of saying “Thank You” for always being such a wonderful role model in my children’s lives. For letting them stay over, loving them, guiding them, and willing to take on a full time parenting role in the event anything ever happened to me. So todays FIM <3 F goes out to the wonderful Godmother’s in my children’s lives. I would have never changed a single thing!! You are not only my children’s rock, but you are MY rock and spiritual guide when I need you. I love you all so much!! Words can’t express my gratitude. Thank you! FIM <3 F

Forever in My Heart Friday! Yes I know it’s a day late, let me explain. You see the one thing I have learned in 7 weeks now is that tomorrow is not promised. Our fate and destiny is not always in our hands. God has a plan for all of us even though we may not always understand. You see I so often took for granted time with my children and now I feel like I didn’t take enough pictures or VIDEOS!! You never realize how much you miss hearing your children call you “Mom” or saying things like “I love you”. So on that note I want to say a heart felt “Thank You” to my bf Matt for taking the time to video record me and my children’s last Christmas together. I would not have even thought to do it because I took that time for granted. But he did. He recorded my children unwrapping their Christmas gifts. But his old phone has been acting up and it wasn’t until he went and got a new iPhone 6 yesterday that we were finally able to view and download that video. I was so anxious that it wouldn’t work and I would never get to see it. I didn’t even watch it after he recorded it because I just took it for granted. But now that Myesha is gone I so desperately wanted to watch it. Thank you Jesus that we got it to work and I now have that video on my Mac to watch over and over again. We stayed up all night trying to get it to download because it’s 22 minutes long. FINALLY, this morning it worked!!! Praise be the God!! I got the hear Myesha say my name, “Mom”, one last time on video. “Mom”. It was like music to my ears!! (crying) The last video I have of her saying my name!! My heart is joyful. So today, this weekend, I employ everyone to take a few moments to record a simple video on your phone of you and your children, or your loved ones, telling each other how much you love each other. You will never know how much that means to you until you need it the most!! I know it may sound silly but you will thank me later, I promise!! Thank you Matt for loving me and children enough to always think to take lots of pictures, and VIDEOS, even when I don’t think it’s important. These are the memories that will last forever!! Happy recording this weekend my friends, and loved ones!! Tomorrow is not promised!! I love you all!! FIM <3 F

Forever In My Heart Friday (part 2 this week…) My dear sweet Chloe, I know how much it weighs on your heart that you never had a chance to tell your sister how much you loved her before she died. No one knew that the surgery was going to turn out the way it did and that she would not ever wake up again. My heart breaks in a million pieces for you that you were not there before she went in. So I found this recording on her phone. She loved you sooooo much! So I want to share this with you so you can remember what she sounded like. I LOVE YOU Chloe Wiley! FIM <3F

Forever In My Heart Friday! Myesha loved her brothers and sister so much! As much as she used to kid about wanting to be an only child I know she would never change it for the world! She was her siblings biggest protector and was truly their best friend! As I was driving Corban Wiley to school this morning he told me he wished that there was a magic button that could bring people back to life where he could just write somebody’s name and they would come back! I asked him who he would want to bring back and of course he said “Myesha”. He told me that he drew a picture of his sister in his notebook at school and wanted to show me when we got there this morning. I got out a picture that I’ve been keeping in the car of her and I gave it to him and ask him if he would like to keep it with him at school so that he could look at her whenever he wanted to. He was very excited and held on to that picture all the way to school. We got to his school, he showed me his notebook and it had a beautiful picture of a sun and a rainbow that he drew with the sun rays coming off of the sun because he sees his sister in the rays of the sun when they shine through the clouds! We taped that picture of Myesha on that page that he drew so that way he can see her at school. I think all too often we take our siblings for granted that they will just always be there, but the reality is tomorrow is not promised. So this morning this goes out to everybody who has a sibling. I want to tell my sister Lacey Wakefield- Jackson how much I love her and even though we don’t get to see each other often, you’re always in my thoughts and I’m so glad you’re my sister! So today if you have a sibling take a few moments to send them a message and tell them how much they mean to you! FIM <3 F!

Forever In My Heart Friday, (FIM <3F). 4 weeks today and everything still seems so surreal. Not a single day goes by that I don't cry. But the days that I hear funny stories that her friends post, and the memories they share, is a wonderful reminder that she will not be forgotten. Today I'm sharing a video from when Myesha & Kaylee, her childhood BFF, were 6yrs old. 2001 Brittany Spears was all the rave and the girls could sing all the songs by heart. Myesha was always a performer. She loved to sing and dance! I would love to hear any stories you might have of Myesha singing, because I know there's a lot of them out there! Don't forget to tag her and I when you share them! FIM<3F ?????